Jogging While Black…
I am an avid runner and writing this today is very challenging because I had to go out today with my mind on high alert from someone who may be looking to take me out like how they did Ahmaud Arbery, the young man in Georgia who’s life was taken from him after being gunned down by a white, father and son Duo, who’s names I shall not mention on my site. It’s just unfortunate that being a black man in America has so many challenges yet we are the most desirable for all thing profitable. Even beyond that, because playing the blame game and pointing fingers is almost TOO easy. But I will say one thing, I refuse to be afraid of going outside because of some corona virus precaution in addition to not being able to go outside because I’m thinking that it could be me. Not only that but it could be my son… I just can’t really put it all together to make it make some kind of sense but I’m praying a great deal about the state of the country and how the racial tension climate isn’t even seeming like it’s getting better in any capacity. Especially now, more than ever.
I think about my son who likes to ride his bike outside. Or walking the mall with his friends…it has a great mental and emotional impact when you know that anything can happen at any given moment. The fact that Ahmaud went out for what I would imagine to be a routine jog in his neighborhood becaus me recreational joggers usual don’t run in unfamiliar territory unless with a group, but he got dressed. Probably even had it planned to go for a run, not l owing that it would be the last run he would take. I think That it could be me. That everyone I lace up my shoes and start my run, that maybe it could be my last. And that’s what scares me the most. Although it’s supposed to motivate you, you know the old adage of “Play every game like it’s my last” like the NBA legend, Allen Iverson would make famous as one of his go to quotes on how hard he played every single game, like he was going to die the next day or right after the game is over. As eerie as that may sound, it was the catalyst to what made him a great player. But this has nothing to do with the game but more so the fear of “maybe this is the last time I’m gonna see my family or talk to my son and to have an incident invoke so much caution in my life goes to the measure in which terrorism is a real thing. But why does it have to be like this? Why do we have to live in fear as black men? Why are we the target practice for inferior white men? Why are we still living in this energy? It just seems like it’s every week there another hashtag and white frankly, I’m just over it. I just want to live in peace and take care of my family.
Where does one have to live to accomplish that and not fear being shot down in the street like a dog? It makes me have a level of rage that I’ve never really experience before. It just feels like we are the targets and it’s like there’s this never ending cycle of hate that has been this way for centuries it seems. And it’s not like we can just “Go back to Africa” because we’ve been stripped of who we are and where we really come from so, America is what we know. Oppression is what we know, separation is what we know, generational poverty mindsets is what we know, it’s just sad and I feel sorry for Ahmaud’s family and the fact that the word has just gotten out out about this and he was killed three months ago and his killers are still just walking around while another one of our young Kings gets his life cut short.
I’m just so hurt today and I’m trying to just release this frustration the best way that I can. I even ran 8 miles today with him in mind. The fact that I am able to even run freely in my neighborhood is not to be taken for granted and many of our leaders have paved the way and risked their lives so that I can even have that luxury in the first place. The same luxury that Mr. Arbery had. Once again, my condolences to his family and friends. Until next time. Much Love ❤️ -Jermy
A lesson well learned…
I decided to get back into auditioning as a voiceover actor by getting into the audiobook market. I hadn’t auditioned for anything since like 2006… I auditioned for 2 books to start and got rejected from both…I hate to say the word rejected…more like “I didn’t get the audition” yeah….that sounds better lol, anyway… I decided to do one more, and so I did and then never checked back to see if I got the audition…Well…I got the audition! I got an offer to record an audiobook and make a 50% royalty and it was the best thing in the world to get such an opportunity to get my acting career back rolling again. The only thing is… that offer came April 13th and today is May, 6th… my lack of belief from the first two rejections made me not even believe in the last one, which would have been the one, that….sigh. Never mind. I say all that to say, believe in yourself at all times and don’t let nobody, not even yourself, talk you out of what you really want to do.
Now, on the flip side of that coin, I’m not really tripping because, now I see that I am getting a response from God…a sign from God that there is some water coming out of that faucet. And now I’m gonna go HAM with submitting more auditions and completely turn that faucet on full blast. He’s gonna open those flood gates if you just believe. That’s the lesson for today. Not that I got an offer and then lost it, but that I get another chance, by his grace, to continue to use the gift that he gave me with more confidence because of his goodness and his mercy when I make mistakes and don’t always trust, he’s always there to pull me through and continue to make ways for me on my behalf.
Much Love ❤️
-Jermy
P.S.
If you would like to do the same thing too, just log on to ACX.com, make a profile, find the “search for auditions” tab, look through all the books, they have every genre up there with, as of today, 2,301 books accepting submissions. Find a book that you like, click on the copy of the script that they provide for you, go in your voice memos app on your phone. Record yourself reading the script and then upload it onto your page and submit it to the author. Most people consider this a side hustle but for me, it is a great platform to express my acting in audio form for the time being. And I know this is a very long P.S. but I just wanted to give you the information. Peace and thanks for listening to my problems lol 💜
Quarantine Shape..
During this time of lockdown or quarantine or whatever we you want to call this, The most challenging thing has been, keeping in shape. When you’re stuck in the house for hours in end, you can get easily tempted, if you haven’t already succumbed to your inner fat person, talking to you everyday day like my inner fat person lol. My inner-fat person likes to eat large amounts of cookies and snacks and deserts and all I do is eat it seems. I went from 150lbs to 159 and now I’m down to about 155lbs which is not bad, granted it’s been almost two months and my workout regiment taking a huge blow to my morning routine.
I worked so hard to get the body I currently have and now that my routine has been drastically altered, I have to work just as hard mentally, to not let myself go. I know I’m supposed to be encouraging you right now, but the honest truth is, I just feel like some days, I don’t feel like doing anything productive let alone exercise. I think the biggest misconception for people that are considered “In shape” is that we are not humans or something to that degree. Like we’re supposed to eat avacado toast and pita bread or something…figs and berries or some other sh*t like that. lol either way, I’ve been in a pig out mode lately and thank the lord I was in good enough shape before the pandemic to kinda have room to relax a little… Yes, this is very much true but it has been a challenge not to fully go HAM on my food intake. So, the best solution that I could come up with, is to just get buried into the work of a project or a hobby. Just something to keep you busy. It’s also a good time to get creative and work on things that may not have necessarily had the time for, Pre-Pandemic. Try to plan your meals ahead so that you aren’t wandering around the kitchen every 5min just scavenging and eating random things. It’s also good to be smart about your grocery store list. Buying essentials like cold cuts and snackable fruit like grapes or something. I already see my gut tryna come in so I will NOT be having it today! I would probably consider myself to be in what I call, “Quarantine shape.” Im in good enough shape to protect my family but I don’t know how long my endurance would last in such a predicament. What are some ways or methods that you use stay in shape? I just ran 7mi this morning and I must admit ,feel pretty good. I haven’t been running as much because of the lockdown but AI was able to get out there today and break a good sweat and get some miles in. I hope you guys are doing the same. I’m gonna eat some cookies and take a nap now, don’t be judging me lol
Love y’all,
-Jermy
“The ATM Machine”
I like to give and I like to give BIG. Whatever a god blesses me with is another opportunity to help someone with my resources and or my finances. It’s the social economic stereotype of the man being the provider to most, but for me, it’s an opportunity to be a blessing to those who are close to me. It’s kind of hard to fathom a reality where I am in a position to help people and fail to do so. Especially the ones that are close to me. It brings me great joy to know that the gifts that God has given me is not only for him to get all of the Glory and that also allows me the privilege to help provide for my family and loved ones. I enjoy being a resource for people. I enjoy connecting people and galling spark great and long lasting relationships. I enjoy when people come to me and ask me for help or advice because I feel that God has given me some life information and has sent whoever the individual is to me for me to give that information. It’s a responsibility I never used to take seriously and now that I think about it, definitely took it for granted.
One of the people I enjoy watching on YouTube is Eric Thomas aka “The Hip-Hop Preacher” and in this one keynote he was giving, he was adamant about calling himself an “ATM” and it made me think for a second on how he perceived himself as something that people always draw from. There’s always something you can get from the ATM. Most ATM’s never close and you can always count on it to be there when you need it. ATM’s spit out cash for people who are tying to make withdrawals. Most times, they never make a deposit, but the funny thing about that is: in order to draw something out, you do in fact have to PUT SOMETHING IN THE BANK.
So I decided to adopt this attitude from Dr. Thomas and applied it to my daily mindset and let me tell you, it’s an empowering feeling being a self-proclaimed “Human ATM.” I think it’s the attitude most people in position should be doing. Everybody should be good around you and you should work hard on doing everything necessary to help your family and the people you love. I AM AN ATM!!! I believe that today and will be thinking and praying on it all weekend. I pray that God blesses me so much that I can share the wealth and experience with my family and friends. Hope you guys have a great day and don’t forget to drop your email and subscribe to the blog for more. Take care of yourself and remember that you can do all things. ❤️
-Jermy