Self-Love Is Relationship Goals..

I Am Love

I really hate starting over after a breakup. It’s one of those moments in life that, when it comes, I just look it straight in the face and sigh. But now that I’ve gotten to know myself — and love myself — a little better, I can appreciate when something like that happens.

Yeah, it’s sad when things end, especially when they end abruptly. But eventually, you realize those endings are the perfect time to rediscover yourself and grow.

In my short 45 years on this planet, I’ve been blessed to have dated some phenomenal women. Every single relationship — long or short, deep or surface level, romantic or platonic — has taught me something about myself. Each one has been its own mirror.

But the most important person I’ve ever dated is myself.

I didn’t realize it before, but I was dating myself through all of those women. They were all reflections of me — of where I was, what I believed, and what I lacked at that time in my life.

It finally dawned on me this year, during the longest stretch of singleness I’ve ever had. I had a hard time realizing my worth. I used relationships as a crutch — as proof that I mattered — without knowing that all I was doing was catering to what other people expected of me. I called it “love,” but it wasn’t love. It was validation dressed up as connection.

That mindset made me a target in some ways. My lack of self-awareness allowed me to attract women who mirrored my insecurities and flaws. The parts of me that needed healing kept showing up wearing someone else’s perfume.

But now… I know what love really looks like — because I’ve learned how to give it to myself.

This time of singleness has been uncomfortable at times — and still is, here and there — but it’s also been sacred. For the first time, I’ve had real solitude. I’ve spent time with me — not just alone, but truly present with myself while still navigating this wild thing called life.

These days, I feel more love than I ever have, because I’ve learned to love myself deeply. I do that by keeping promises to myself, by staying disciplined where it matters, and by focusing on what brings me joy: the things that make me smile, laugh, and come alive.

That’s what love looks like to me.

Love looks like patience with myself. Gentleness toward myself. Knowing that I am enough — no matter who’s in my life and who’s not.

Love is not leaving me. Ever.
And truthfully, I never want love to leave me again.

Better yet — I am love.

Writing that sentence feels powerful, because there was a time I didn’t believe I was loved. I thought love was something outside of me — something I had to earn, chase, or prove. But real love comes from within.

You have to know it. You have to become it.

You can’t depend on something physical to show it. When you love yourself deeply, you carry so much love that you can share it freely — without losing yourself in the process. That’s what I’ve learned.

I’m grateful to be in a place where I can hear God’s voice clearly and follow His guidance. I’ve had this relationship with Him for 45 years, and knowing that I am loved unconditionally… man, that’s beyond words.

I hope you find that same love — the kind that doesn’t leave when people do.

Much Love,

Jermy