“Friends..”
Today I want to talk about one of my favorite things… friends.
The older I get, the more reflective I become. Even though I’m always looking forward, every now and then I like to turn around and take inventory of my life — and one of the biggest areas I revisit is friendship. Who my friends are, where they are, and if we still are.
I’ve been blessed to have a lot of friends in my lifetime. Sure, there are colleagues, peers, and associates — but when I say “friends,” I’m talking about the ones who are close to you. The ones you confide in, and who confide in you. The ones who know your stories, your flaws, your family, your whole blueprint. For me, that list is short. I’ve got friends I’ve known for over 20 years, and because I’ve lived on two coasts for two decades each, I’ve been fortunate enough to have little pockets of close friendships in different parts of my life.
I’d say maybe 3–5 “close-close” friends, and another 6–10 who orbit that circle — each one having 20 years of dealing with Jermy and all his shenanigans lol.
I thank God for the friends who were there when I was at my highest and when I was at my lowest. Every single one of them has contributed something meaningful to my evolution, and I like to believe I’ve done the same for them. That’s the secret to friendships that last decades: you get to share in each other’s victories and each other’s sorrows. But even with that, some friendships still end. Some fizzle. Some break. And honestly? Those hurt. I think friendship breakups hit harder than relationship breakups — not even gonna lie.
I remember falling out with a good friend, and it was hard to get through. Especially when you share the same friend group. Week after week:
“So… when’s the last time you talked to so-and-so?”
And then it turns into an hour-long conversation about the situation — meanwhile all it’s doing is reopening old wounds I was trying to let scar over. Eventually you start asking yourself, “Why aren’t we friends anymore again?” And sometimes it’s been so long, you forget what even caused the fallout in the first place.
Then there were the times when I showed up for friends in their darkest moments, but when I needed them, they didn’t pick up. I used to take it personally — like straight-to-voicemail personally — but as I’ve healed and grown, I’ve learned to see it differently. People go through things. Everyone is fighting something. But yeah… that shit still stung.
In the past, that kind of disappointment made me put my guard up. It made me shut people out and become a choosier friend. I had to forgive myself for taking things personally and really examine why I took it that way. And what I discovered was that I was putting people on pedestals. I expected more out of them than I expected out of myself.
Once I owned that, it made me not only a better person… but a better friend.
I see people as mirrors — everyone. I genuinely believe every person I connect with is a reflection of some part of me, and that theme keeps showing up throughout my life. The more I interact with people, the more I learn about myself. That’s why friendships matter so much. They’re healthy. They bring a sense of community, acceptance, and belonging. Yes, you can be a lone wolf — plenty of people are — but I think there’s real strength and healing in having a healthy circle.
Napoleon Hill, author of Think and Grow Rich, called his circle of friends a “Mastermind group” — a tight, intentional group of people combining their minds, gifts, energy, loyalty, and ideas. Kind of like a strategy team, but rooted in trust and growth. That’s the kind of friendship I value. I want friends who sharpen me, challenge me, believe in my vision, and want to grow alongside me. Real friends aren’t threatened by your elevation — they help fuel it.
Those are the ones I keep close.
Those are the ones who’ve stayed the longest.
Those are my people.
Those are my friends.
Much Love,
Jermy
