Unconditional conditions…
Love yourself unconditionally. When you learn to do that, then your life will display the exact result of what it looks like when you love yourself, first. When you know your strengths as well as your weaknesses and are ok with both. When you start to look for happiness in other people, I compare it to shooting holes in your boat JB the middle of the ocean and expecting someone’s else to come save you. I’ve come to the realization that I cannot afford to live a life where I bring other people unhappiness. It’s a clear indicator, to me, to me, to ME… that I, personally have created an arena where someone can feel unhappy being with me. You cannot get caught up in what other people’s projection of you is because some, two people can just be on different wavelengths.
I do believe that the moment you start to look for love in other places an people and things, is when you should really hit the brakes and examine, what it is or who is it exactly that is activating this unhappy feeling in my life. I always point the camera to myself whenever I start to have problems in my relationships because it all starts and ends with me. It is not for me to take personal when someone is unhappy with me on any level: friendships, business, family, etc. It really breaks my heart whenever I hurt someone’s feelings. I always look in the mirror and ask myself, “What did I do to make this person feel this way?” What is it about myself that is happening to where it’s effecting the people that I love ?
I just don’t know, to be quite honest. This is probably the reason why I’ve been such a “Loner” in my life. Maybe I’m too afraid of hurting people. Maybe I’m just better not fully engaging in personal relationships because I know my shortcomings and I’m afraid that it will come back to plant a grenade in my relationships. I don’t know. All I know is that I have to be happy within, in order to give the best kind of love I can give. I have so much work that needs to be done personally and I take full responsibility for my part when things don’t go well because it all begins and ends with me. I pride myself on taking ownership of my actions because it’s just easier to live my life that way. It takes a lot of the load off and it doesn’t allow me to point blame at others when I feel that everything that happens in my life, good, bad or indifferent is because I played the starring role in my movie.
and that’s really all I have to say about that today…I’m sure theres more but the moral of this whole lost is to continue to love yourself and don’t put yourself in positions that will make you question who you are and your value. Having a sense of positive self-worth is key to attracting the right people into your life and don’t be afraid to be by yourself. Don’t dee like you have to depend on someone else for your happiness.
Have a bless day! ❤️
-Jermy
Jogging While Black…
I am an avid runner and writing this today is very challenging because I had to go out today with my mind on high alert from someone who may be looking to take me out like how they did Ahmaud Arbery, the young man in Georgia who’s life was taken from him after being gunned down by a white, father and son Duo, who’s names I shall not mention on my site. It’s just unfortunate that being a black man in America has so many challenges yet we are the most desirable for all thing profitable. Even beyond that, because playing the blame game and pointing fingers is almost TOO easy. But I will say one thing, I refuse to be afraid of going outside because of some corona virus precaution in addition to not being able to go outside because I’m thinking that it could be me. Not only that but it could be my son… I just can’t really put it all together to make it make some kind of sense but I’m praying a great deal about the state of the country and how the racial tension climate isn’t even seeming like it’s getting better in any capacity. Especially now, more than ever.
I think about my son who likes to ride his bike outside. Or walking the mall with his friends…it has a great mental and emotional impact when you know that anything can happen at any given moment. The fact that Ahmaud went out for what I would imagine to be a routine jog in his neighborhood becaus me recreational joggers usual don’t run in unfamiliar territory unless with a group, but he got dressed. Probably even had it planned to go for a run, not l owing that it would be the last run he would take. I think That it could be me. That everyone I lace up my shoes and start my run, that maybe it could be my last. And that’s what scares me the most. Although it’s supposed to motivate you, you know the old adage of “Play every game like it’s my last” like the NBA legend, Allen Iverson would make famous as one of his go to quotes on how hard he played every single game, like he was going to die the next day or right after the game is over. As eerie as that may sound, it was the catalyst to what made him a great player. But this has nothing to do with the game but more so the fear of “maybe this is the last time I’m gonna see my family or talk to my son and to have an incident invoke so much caution in my life goes to the measure in which terrorism is a real thing. But why does it have to be like this? Why do we have to live in fear as black men? Why are we the target practice for inferior white men? Why are we still living in this energy? It just seems like it’s every week there another hashtag and white frankly, I’m just over it. I just want to live in peace and take care of my family.
Where does one have to live to accomplish that and not fear being shot down in the street like a dog? It makes me have a level of rage that I’ve never really experience before. It just feels like we are the targets and it’s like there’s this never ending cycle of hate that has been this way for centuries it seems. And it’s not like we can just “Go back to Africa” because we’ve been stripped of who we are and where we really come from so, America is what we know. Oppression is what we know, separation is what we know, generational poverty mindsets is what we know, it’s just sad and I feel sorry for Ahmaud’s family and the fact that the word has just gotten out out about this and he was killed three months ago and his killers are still just walking around while another one of our young Kings gets his life cut short.
I’m just so hurt today and I’m trying to just release this frustration the best way that I can. I even ran 8 miles today with him in mind. The fact that I am able to even run freely in my neighborhood is not to be taken for granted and many of our leaders have paved the way and risked their lives so that I can even have that luxury in the first place. The same luxury that Mr. Arbery had. Once again, my condolences to his family and friends. Until next time. Much Love ❤️ -Jermy
A lesson well learned…
I decided to get back into auditioning as a voiceover actor by getting into the audiobook market. I hadn’t auditioned for anything since like 2006… I auditioned for 2 books to start and got rejected from both…I hate to say the word rejected…more like “I didn’t get the audition” yeah….that sounds better lol, anyway… I decided to do one more, and so I did and then never checked back to see if I got the audition…Well…I got the audition! I got an offer to record an audiobook and make a 50% royalty and it was the best thing in the world to get such an opportunity to get my acting career back rolling again. The only thing is… that offer came April 13th and today is May, 6th… my lack of belief from the first two rejections made me not even believe in the last one, which would have been the one, that….sigh. Never mind. I say all that to say, believe in yourself at all times and don’t let nobody, not even yourself, talk you out of what you really want to do.
Now, on the flip side of that coin, I’m not really tripping because, now I see that I am getting a response from God…a sign from God that there is some water coming out of that faucet. And now I’m gonna go HAM with submitting more auditions and completely turn that faucet on full blast. He’s gonna open those flood gates if you just believe. That’s the lesson for today. Not that I got an offer and then lost it, but that I get another chance, by his grace, to continue to use the gift that he gave me with more confidence because of his goodness and his mercy when I make mistakes and don’t always trust, he’s always there to pull me through and continue to make ways for me on my behalf.
Much Love ❤️
-Jermy
P.S.
If you would like to do the same thing too, just log on to ACX.com, make a profile, find the “search for auditions” tab, look through all the books, they have every genre up there with, as of today, 2,301 books accepting submissions. Find a book that you like, click on the copy of the script that they provide for you, go in your voice memos app on your phone. Record yourself reading the script and then upload it onto your page and submit it to the author. Most people consider this a side hustle but for me, it is a great platform to express my acting in audio form for the time being. And I know this is a very long P.S. but I just wanted to give you the information. Peace and thanks for listening to my problems lol 💜
